of short light lips,
bottom lined glass, and starry nights
as time and friends
who were broken and who would break
today i listened to your heart while it was raining
i dropped off the egde of the earth at 9:32pm
was late for a meeting with feeling ampersand
phones, bygones, old cotton sheets
were you impressed?
ringing church bells while getting mad at yourself for making noise
in smoke plumes, car headlights
silly fingers and silly mouths
ideas that only us, and children have
i want to run azaleas over my teeth and eat linoleum mixed in with birthday cake
i want to hold sunsets and smell stars
listen, breathe, and echo
cover your image in leaves, ash, and all the mess it comes with;
bluebirds, candle wax, a bible
the hot breath of the mississippi after a funeral
good old america, god old america
funny eyelids and funny mouths
are you dimple cheeked and happy
a barn filled with hay and nine tons of explosives
a naked body between a sheet and an amber sunset
a sunburned boy on a baseball field
we are still laughing, like children in the winter
the same lung-ache as before a soft breed of “wake up, it’s morning”
two circles of brown and blonde hair
eye contact, hold hands
you’re water on numb fingers
how it hurts a little
all that life remembering it’s there
and i’m a little kid in p.e. class again
untied shoes messed up hair
when i didn’t know all the games yet
and i just danced like a fool
tonight is a surgical instrument made of broken eye contact
with hands hurt from rope burn or
"i love you" followed by "i hate you"
and somehow they’re just not that different
"her" was an extremely good movie. enjoyed that it wasn’t so much all about the fact that samantha was an ai. i mean, that was a crux of the story, but the story explored relationships, it was not some lofty ethical debate about how the implications of ai, or how everyone is always on their phones now, or how "society" would deal with ai. it was just about these two "people" and their relationship. i enjoyed the contrast that it played with of other types of relationships. i really empathized with theodore. wondering how this movie would be if the "actual" person was girl and the ai was guy. everything was like hyper-chic, very stylized which was annoying at some points because it kind of had an effect on immersion. (main character wears maybe four outfits over the course of what i believe is a few months) that was alright. had me thinking a lot about my relationships- exgirlfriends, relationship with parents, current and former friends. thought a lot about subjectivity, thought a lot about what a romantic relationship actually means an is. liked the quote about romance being a socially acceptable form of insanity. would like to reiterate that i enjoyed that it was about these people and not society. i did not cry during this movie, but i felt more moved by it than movies that i cry during. enjoyed how the comic relief was used an how smoothly it transitioned into something very serious. thought a lot about what sex means to people in a relationship. ending scene of film felt odd but i do not know what else to put there, definitely needed a scene where that was, maybe it is supposed to foreshadow that theodore and amy are going to be together, tying back into the part where he talks about how they were together a bit in college. movie does not try to make you understand the future, does not force it in your face like "OOOHHH FUUTURREEE" it’s just there and i enjoyed it. film dealt with a lot of insecurities i suffer from in relationships, i think. story arc was extremely well done. it did not feel like a manufactured story, just felt like real life. meeting with exwife was very realistic. his emotions after were very realistic. i feel sorry for both theodore and samantha. i want to see more things by spike jonze. felt like the general style of the film was supposed to appeal to "my generation" or the "instagram/tumblr aesthetic" but i didn’t mind because, crap that stuff appeals to me and why is that a bad thing? this is an excellent story, told over a medium i can really relate to and that stylistically appeals to me. i feel like the film will get flack for its aesthetic because i think people have a problem with other people really enjoying certain things. that may be projection, i suffer from that. i think other people do too though. this film may get flack because it is sad and it somewhat feels like it is romanticizing sadness at some parts but i think that is diffused by the parts where he is so happy and at the beginning where a joke is made about the melancholic music he is listening to. i kept thinking the word "abject" while watching this but i am not sure it relates to the movie i just am going insane. felt i should share this. initially going into the movie i thought it would be an a) ethical exploration of what ai is (was pleasantly surprised it wasn’t) b) a critique of "everyone being on their phones all the time" (it touched on this visually but never made any observations, felt a lot of different points of view could be derived from the way it was presented) and c) dumb and appealing to this "pop-hipster" subculture that is becoming popularized (maybe it was a little, like i was talking about how literally everything was chic, but it actually turned out to be a really good film so i excuse any what may be appeal to a popular stylization of a type of counter culture [would enjoy writing an entirely separate piece on this but feel i could not accurately convey what i was talking about and would just look dumb]) thought that the blind-date thing ended in an odd way, thought that some other things were a bit off, still somewhat excusable though. very much enjoyed it. very believable acting, very believable story. excellent exploration of concept. excellent thesis. this movie was nearly perfect. 9.8/10
and seven hours and three days
i imagine you on rainy days
sometimes i listen to rap and i think it has more effect on me than other music
i have nothing to say for you
on a tuesday in may we yell at each other on the phone
on a wednesday in may we don’t talk to each other
on a thursday we yell again
When the Maoist revolutionary arrived at the cafe he and his girlfriend were the only ones there. There was mood lighting. I’ve never been in a cafe with this much mood lighting, the Maoist revolutionary thought. The mood lighting was mostly blue. There were blue curtains and blue tablecloths. There was a fish tank but the light in the fish tank was green. This cafe is trying to trick me into believing that water is green, the Maoist revolutionary thought. He was uncomfortable with the mood lighting. The Maoist revolutionary and his girlfriend sat down at a table and a waiter came from what seemed to be nowhere to learn the drinks they wanted. The Maoist revolutionary wanted a Coke. The Maoist revolutionary’s girlfriend wanted a water. When the waiter left the Maoist revolutionary’s girlfriend told the Maoist revolutionary he should not drink as much soda and drink more water. He was addicted to soda, she thought. The Maoist revolutionary passively said that he was and should drink less soda but right now was not the right time to drink water because the blue mood lighting and green fish tank were making him uncomfortable and drinking soda while around something that made him uncomfortable would make him associate drinking soda with being uncomfortable and therefore he would drink more water, later. More people entered the cafe and the Maoist revolutionary noticed that the streetlamps outside had turned on but the sun was still mostly above the horizon.
i pulled confetti out of my stomach and set it on fire
or maybe it was orange peels and little pieces of glass
and i’ve got these heartbeats like sledge hammers
and you’ve got eyes like i’m trying to remember something
clementine - you hated that name
threw it away in a river named (blocks of concrete with misspelled graffiti)
just how hearts break
it went something like that, at least - i’m trying my hardest to remember
out there in the nevada sand and ponderosas
fallout tastes best in the summer time, i guess
i’ll cut my wrists and citrus will pour, i will listen to the rain
and i’ll yell for someone, they won’t hear me
like two and a half years of whispering to each other in private
with lips of candied aspirin
and i can still hear you yell
and i can still hear you burn
the wood you dig your hands into
a marble countertop
and in july i’ll wander back in
on those streets of hot rain water
we will walk and the river will be cold
trash bags and newspaper
i am sorry waking you
clementine - i’m calling you confetti
(hurricane and cough syrup, the one big family)
confetti - ponderosa
and you will taste like citrus still
“I didn’t get to say thank you.”
“Oh. Yeah. No problem.”
It was cold and it was raining. There were puddles outside.
“I had fun.”
“So did I, yeah.”
“I’ll see you soon?”
His hands felt numb and he shut the door. He looked at the mirror.
On my eighteenth birthday my dad and I drove to Dallas to buy a car. He would pay for half and I would pay for half. This was my birthday present.
Around noon we were hungry. We had been looking at cars most of the day. We decided to get food.
"What should we eat?"
"Wherever is fine with me. I don’t have any strong feelings."
"Today is your birthday, you should decide."
"Greek, I guess. I like Greek."
The GPS fook us to a Greek resturant. The parking lot was empty and it seemed like we were in the wrong place but we were not. I felt scared of the mafia. There was no one in the Greek resturant and we were seated and I ordered gyros. Then I ordered extra tzatziki sauce. There was a soccer match on TV and the server enjoyed watching the game. We left to go look at more cars.
In the car I fell asleep. The sun through the windows was comfortable. I dreamed about soccer.
i will walk you
to denatured skylines
through alkaline forests
while you breathe and wonder
and i in tempered and constructed
a bad taste like aerosol
of one night hotel rooms
and drunk on a tuesday morning
it’s pretty, afterall
and human, oh
In December we walk together in a city park. It is 9:53pm and the park closes at 10:00. We laugh that a park has a closing time. At 10:05 we are ushered off the grounds by a security gaurd we think is just someone who assumed the role of park security gaurd without actually being hired by anyone. You say “I’m sorry,” to the security gaurd. We drive to another park.
In the park we sit by a small lake. I am worried about security gaurds.
"Are there fish in this lake?"
"I don’t know."
"There has to be. Lakes have to have fish."
We watch the stars and think about lakes and fish.
At 11:36 we walk along the lake. There is no pathway and I almost fall in. You laugh. I am worried about snakes. You are not worried about snakes. We walk back to my car and you get in the back seat. I become confused. We hold each other in the back seat. At 12:07 a security gaurd taps on the window and tells us to leave.
Anonymous asked: Who is the most beautiful girl that you know?
i dont know. i know a lot of pretty people. seems like, ‘not okay’ to rank people like that.